Missed Opportunities
by VicaliW
Summary: What if John never gave Kayleigh 'Car Share Buddy? What directions would their lives take?
1. Chapter 1

The next day after Kayleigh had walked out of the car, John had been up all night recording a song. He was so determined to drop it off to her that morning, but he just couldn't face it.

"What if I balls it up again and hurt her even more?" he thought to himself.

He left it and went to work as usual, well usual minus the trip to Bury. He had no responses to his texts so didn't feel it was right to pick Kayleigh up.

As he drove to work, he played the song he had written over and over in his head "God I miss her" he thought, but he convinced himself it would all lead to more heartbreak in the end.

John arrived at work feeling downcast and that's when he saw her, looking equally as sad. She was chatting as usual to Rosin and Diane, but her spark had gone.

He resisted going to speak to her and just went to his office.

This carried on going into weeks and then months. John struggled but got used to not having her in his life. They said a cordial yet awkward hello but nothing more.

Kayleigh forced herself to move on. The first few weeks had been hard for her and despite her heartbreak she lied about the reason John was no longer giving her a lift when she was asked by her colleagues and just explained it was merely not reasonable for John to drive so far out of his way.

She hadn't told Mandy the full ins and outs of the events although Mandy had guessed there was something much deeper and tried to cheer Kayleigh up.

As Christmas approached Kayleigh went on Donna's hen do, she didn't really fancy it but knew she had to get back out there and put John to the back of her mind.

The hen do consisted of the girls from the store teasing her about John and what happened between them.

"I thought yous were getting it on?" asked Elsie.

"No, we were just friends...car share buddies."

"Oh yeah, that's not how it looked" added Diane "he looks broken now you're not car sharing."

"I'm sure he isn't" replied Kayleigh.

"Eh Rachel...didn't you have a crack at Mr Redmond?" said a blatant Elsie.

"Hardly...just being friendly!" came the sheepish reply.

"Well, he didn't pick me for his crappy Christmas team..." said Elsie "eh or you Kayleigh...I thought you'd have been a dead cert, considering how close yous two were."

"I told ya...we were just friends. Now can we change the subject...please?!"

"Oooh touched a nerve?" added a smug Rachel.

"No, but this is a hen do and we're meant to be having fun, not talking about the knob rashes at work."

"She's right everyone...let's get this shittin' hen do started!" added Elsie.

The hen party cheered and the night continued.

John regretted not picking Kayleigh for his Christmas team, but he knew it was too soon to be that close to her and not have that connection. He knew she was out on Donna's hen do tonight and felt uncomfortable not knowing what she was up to and that he wouldn't get the gossip, well not from Kayleigh anyway.

Elsie had supplied John with the itinerary of the hen do when he found himself in conversation with her at the deli counter. He actually deliberately sought her out as he knew he would get the full details, it gave him some comfort that he knew what Kayleigh was getting up to.

He had thought of asking Paul or Jim for a night out in town in the hope of accidently on purpose bumping into her, but it would have been too obvious why he was out and didn't want to ruin Kayleigh's night. He just sat on his own, looking at his pitiful Christmas decorations that he was yet to put up.

The hen do had been better than expected for Kayleigh, she had been chatted up by a man called Darren, it was someone she vaguely knew from years ago so felt comfortable talking to him. He was a little taller than John, more slender with close shaven dark hair and around the same age and very pleasant.

He had asked Kayleigh if she wanted to meet the next day for coffee, Kayleigh agreed and they swapped numbers.

Mandy had been taxi driver for the night so Kayleigh updated her on the nights events.

"Oh I'm so pleased Kayleigh that you're getting back out there."

"I'm just glad I didn't have to join heart searchers again."

"Well hopefully you will get your prince charming yet!"

"Mmm" replied a thoughtful Kayleigh not really convincing herself let alone Mandy.

"Look, are you sure you're over John?"

"There was nothing to get over...we were mates. Nothing more" she replied as she looked out of the passenger window.

"You were more than that...I still think he did have feelings Kayleigh, he was just a typically terrified man!"

"Well he had his chance, I'm not going to wait forever. I haven't got time."

"I know, but don't rush into something for the sake of it. I really want you to be happy and if you're fine about John now, that's great, but if you have unfinished business..."

"We don't Mandy...I'm sick of talking about him. How am I meant to move on with everybody going John this and John that?"

"Ok, sorry love."

The rest of the journey continued in silence.

The coffee with Darren the next day went well and they spent the rest of the day together. He was more confident than John but not as funny but Kayleigh had to get passed that, this was a nice guy and she didn't meet many of those. The fact they had known each other previously through mutual friends made Kayleigh feel more at ease. Darren had been married before for a few years and had just got out of a long term relationship but he had no children. He worked at a machine factory and was renting a flat until he got himself sorted.

For the next week Kayleigh and Darren spent most of the days texting and meeting up most evenings for a drink or bite to eat. Things were looking good and Kayleigh's sparkle was slowly returning.

For John, hearing various stories from the hen do did not help his troubled mind and had finally heard about Darren through a not so discreet Elsie.

"Oh aye...sounds like she's met a keeper Di" was the tail end of the whole conversation he heard.

John was dumbstruck, he had to leave work early that day just to get his head round things.

Was now the right time to give her the song? Maybe this new guy was the one for her and he should leave it. He was crushed but knew he only had himself to blame.

He drove to his mums as he didn't want to just sit on his own and felt he needed to talk this through with someone as the whole situation had been making him crazy. His mum was quite sensible when it came to matters of the heart and she would have put him right about Charlotte way before if he opened up to her.

John opened the door to his childhood home and stood at the kitchen door where his mum was tidying.

"Hi ya love. What you doing here?" she said as she looked up and saw his sullen face "John, what's up?"

John moved over to her and gave her a hug and broke down in tears "Oh Mum...I've really messed up."

"Oh John, come on sit down, it cant be that bad?"

She lead him to the living room sofa.

"It is Mum, I've lost someone I love so much and now she's seeing someone else..."

"Is this your car share buddy? Kayleigh wasn't it?"

John smiled "How did you know?"

"Call it a mothers intuition? Let me make you a brew and you can tell me all about it."

John told his Mum everything from the first car share to the radio dedication, his mum listened in stunned silence to a son she didn't recognise.

"John, this is so unlike you, I've never seen you like this."

"I've never felt like this...and I was too selfish and scared to be man enough to tell her."

"You tried though John."

"Not hard enough Mum...now I've lost her."

"You haven't...she's only being seeing this guy a week...it's not too late."

"She will hardly speak to me mum. And she will probably think I'm just saying this because I don't want anyone else to have her and I'm gonna muck her about."

"But you don't know that...you're just wimping out again!"

"I know...and Kayleigh deserves better...she seems happy, happier than I've seen her for a while."

"Happier than when you were with her?...she loved you John, that doesn't just go."

"But I hurt her so much...I can't guarantee I wouldn't do it again...you know what I'm like..."

"Well I thought I did...but the John that's been telling me about the love of his life is not the John I know...your face lit up just by talking about her..."

"Don't..." tears filled Johns eyes.

"I don't know what to say John...I can't sit here and watch you suffer like this when you can just tell her how you feel."

"I cant! Not now! It's ruined...I ruined it!" he raised his voice and broke down again.

Jan hugged him.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

"Course you can love..."

"You won't tell our Paul will ya Mum?"

Jan laughed "Course I won't" she sighed as she kissed John on the forehead.

As Kayleigh left work, John's car was gone, she had noticed he hadn't been around all afternoon.

"I hope he's not ill" Kayleigh thought to herself. A car beeped, it was Darren, she walked over to where he was parked.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as he opened the window.

"I was just passing and thought I would take you to mine for tea...and dessert!" he winked.

Kayleigh was shocked at his forwardness and had tinges of guilt but knew she had to move on.

"But I'm not changed" she laughed.

"Don't you worry about that...look Kayleigh, I really like you and we've had such a good week...and you are hot. What you holding back for?"

"I'm not...I just...don't want to rush into anything" Kayleigh replied.

"We are both single adults and we are not doing any harm...or is there something you're not telling me?"

"No...its just..."

"What? Is there someone else...I don't want to waste my time Kayleigh?! I don't want to be taken for a fool "

"There's no one else."

"Well then...get in and I'll treat ya to takeaway" he smiled.

Kayleigh smiled and got into the car, scared that taking her relationship further with Darren would certainly move her further away from John.

The next morning, a Saturday, John left his Mums and returned home, he felt better he had finally spoken about it and got it all off his chest. He was meant to be doing extra hours at work as part of the Christmas Team but he just couldn't face it, he had called Dave Thomson to let him know he wouldn't be in.

He sat and had a brew and decided he better do some Christmas shopping so headed into town in the hope it would take his mind off Kayleigh "Who am I kidding? She loves Christmas, the whole experience is gonna remind me of her" he said to himself, he sighed and headed out.

As he wondered through the crowds, he saw Charlotte out of the corner of his eye "I need to dodge that bullet" he thought and turned into a cafe for a brew, as he opened the door keeping an eye on Charlotte instead of where he was going there was a sudden jolt.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry..." he looked up "Kayleigh?"

"John...I am so sorry, Are you ok, you've got coffee all down ya" she put her coffees down.

John hadn't even noticed the hot coffee all down his front.

"Its ok...it will come out" he said wiping his jacket "I didn't know you were working today?"

"I'm not" Kayleigh answered confused.

"It's just you've still got ya uniform on.'

"Oh...yeah" she looked down bashfully.

"So...are you working?"

Kayleigh knew she couldn't lie, John would easily find out.

"Er...no...no...I...erm...didn't go home last night."

BOOM! John literally felt like he had been hit by a ten tonne truck, his heart raced and his eyes glazed over.

"John are you ok?...John?"

John snapped out of his daze.

"Oh...yeah...yeah I'm fine...where did you stay?...Your new boyfriends?" he knew the answer he just needed her to say it.

"What?!...How do you know? I mean...it's none of your business."

"I overheard Elsie...I know it's none of my business but..."

"No buts John..." she started to go to the door ".. anyway we are blocking the door and I've got to get back..."

"To his?" asked John.

"No to our Mandy's...not that its any of your concern" she said snapping.

"Do ya need a lift?"

"Not from you ta" she left the cafe.

John sighed and went after her "Kayleigh!" he called after her, she stopped and turned.

He walked up to her "Please let me give ya a lift. We haven't spoken for ages..."

"I can't John...I'm sorry..." as she turned round Darren was in front of her.

"Hi ya...is this guy bothering you babe?"

"No, no...he's a friend from work. John, this is Darren, Darren, John."

"Alright mate!" Darren held out his hand for John to shake.

"Alright?!" replied John coolly and shook his hand.

"Eh mate do ya know you've got coffee all down ya!?" Darren laughed.

"Aye, well with Kayleigh around there's always gonna be some mishap" John smiled at Kayleigh.

Kayleigh smiled back at John as Darren put his arm round her "Yeah she's a right dozy mare" Darren added "is that where me coffees gone? That's a fiver I won't get back" he said quite seriously.

"It was my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going. I'll buy yous another?"

"Nah not to worry. Anyway John...nice to meet ya...but I've gotta get this one back to her sisters before the football."

"Yeah, I'll let you both get on. Nice to meet you Darren...see you Monday Kayleigh."

"See ya John" Kayleigh said as Darren dragged her off. John watched them walk away then turned round to get back to his car, as Kayleigh was about to turn the corner she turned to see John walking away.

"Oh my god! What were the chances of you bumping into John whilst doing the walk of shame!" Mandy chuckled as Kayleigh told her the recent events.

"Don't...I'm mortified."

"Well? How was he with you?"

"He was a bit weird..."

"Jealous?"

"I don't know...he wanted to give me a lift, he even came after me, that's when we bumped into Darren."

"What did Darren say?"

"Not much, he was too busy trying to rush me home so he could go to football. I felt so bad, John did look sad and tired but I think he went home ill yesterday so it may have been that."

"How did you feel seeing him?"

"I see him all the time at work."

"But you've not spoken properly since...well since that day."

"I don't know Mandy...John is...was...well what I thought was, the one."

"And now...is Darren the one?"

"I've only been seeing him a week!"

"Yeah but you fell for John pretty hard very quick and you've probably spent more time with Darren this week than you ever spent with John."

"It was different with John...I can't explain it..."

"If John came here now and told you he loved you and wanted to be with you...what would you do?"

"Don't ask me that Mandy! It's not going to happen so...no...I don't want to think about it...I can't...I have to move on...I'm with Darren now."

"Don't do anything hasty sis..."

"Who would you pick if you were me?"

"Oh Kayleigh, I can't answer that. I only met John a few times and Darren was in and out like a flash...I know who Steve would pick if that helps" Mandy laughed.

"Right...nope...I know who I have to pick...the guy whose actually making an effort to be with me...not hiding away or playing games. I have to stick with Darren" said Kayleigh quite surely.

"You have to follow your heart and what makes you happy...anyway are you taking Darren to that wedding?"

"I didn't get a plus one...but Donna said he can come to reception."

"Is John going to the wedding?"

"I think so...apparently, according to Elsie... he knew Donna's mother quite well so I'm sure he will be."

"I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that" Mandy laughed.

"There's no need to be Johns a mate and Darren's me fella"

"Ok Kayleigh...whatever you say."


	2. Chapter 2

It was Donna's wedding day.

John and Kayleigh had hardly spoke since they bumped into each other at the cafe in town.

John was at his Mums getting ready struggling with his tie.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" asked Jan.

"No I do not, how's that gonna look? Can't get a date so I bring me Mum! I ain't got a plus one anyway!"

"Do you need a hand with ya tie love?"

"No! I'm fine...I'm not completely useless!" he snapped.

"John..."

John softened and let his Mum do his tie.  
"I'm sorry Mum"

"It's ok...I know you're nervous...there you go...very handsome."

"Least someone thinks so."

"Stop it John. You're feeling sorry for yourself when you could have done something about it."

"Are you trying to kick me when I'm down!"

"Only because you are doing a good enough job yourself."

"Ok Mum, then tell me...What do I do?"

"You know what you have to do but you wont do it...all I can say is just be yourself...your lovely self...with a face only a mother could love" Jan laughed and it made John smile.

"Thanks Mum...right I best be off."

"Good luck."

Meanwhile Mandy was waiting for Kayleigh to come downstairs.

"Kayleigh! Come on you'll be late!"

"Alright! I'm coming!"

Kayleigh appeared and walked down the stairs.

"Wow! You look amazing. Doesn't she Steve?"

"Oh aye...you look great! Whose the effort for?"

"What d'ya mean" asked Kayleigh.

"John or Darren?"

"Shut up Steve!" said Kayleigh

"Steve, not appropriate."

"Sorry...I can't keep up with who she's going with."

"I'm dating Darren."

"Ok...just wanted to be clear" smirked Steve as he drank his tea.

"So you don't need picking up later?" asked Mandy.

"Nah...me and Darren will be getting a taxi back to his...Right I'm ready."

"Enjoy!" said Steve as 6 and Mandy left.

John had arrived before Kayleigh and was chatting to Kath Hilton.

"Well done for the Christmas team John...if you don't get promoted then there is no justice."

"Thanks Kath...I only did what had to be done."

"I know but you work so hard...you really deserve it."

"Thanks."

"I don't mean to pry John, but are you ok? You seem a bit on edge?"

"No, I'm fine Kath. Just weddings make me nervous" he chuckled.

"Oh look...Kayleigh's here."

John span round so fast he made himself dizzy. Kayleigh walked over to the Rachel, Roisin, Diane, Rachel and Elsie clique.

"Aw she looks lovely doesn't she?"

"Aye she does" said John wistfully.

"What happened between you two? You were as thick as thieves and then...nothing."

"That's just it nothing happened Kath...nothing at all."

John walked away from the crowds gathering and to the toilets. He splashed his face with water and looked in the mirror.

"Get a grip John!" he said to himself.

Kayleigh had noticed John and Kath talking and mentally noted how handsome John looked. Her stomach still did a flip when she saw him.

"Stop it Kayleigh" she told herself. She could relax again once he was out of sight.

After the ceremony the guests waited in the bar area whilst pictures were being taken.  
John decided he would speak to Kayleigh, she was chatting to one of Donna's relatives whilst waiting at the bar.

As the relative got his drinks and left the bar John made his approach.

"Hiya...can I get you a drink? To make up for the coffee you lost when you chucked it all over of me?"

"That was my fault John...I'll get you a drink."  
"Least it weren't piss this time."

They both laughed.

"No Darren?"

"He's coming to the reception...I didn't get a plus one...did you?"

"No I didn't...Don't think anyone from work did...there's no one I would have wanted to bring anyway ...well...apart from..."

"Yes please love?" asked the Barman.

John and Kayleigh's eyes were locked.

"Next?" said the barman breaking the stare.

"Oh sorry...erm...a prosecco for me and..." she looked at John.

"Diet coke" he responded.

"and a diet coke please."

Once the drinks arrived, Kayleigh made her excuses and joined her friends, John went to find someone he knew so he didn't look completely isolated.

As the guests were called for the meal John looked at where he was sat...right next to Kayleigh. Probably the seating arrangement was done prior to the whole store knowing they were not close anymore.

"Why didn't Donna change it" he thought. Not that he wasn't happy to be next to her, but the awkwardness from her point of view was going to make this hard.

John walked over to the table, Kayleigh one side, luckily Kath was the other. The rest of the table was Roisin, Rachel, Gareth, Barry, Diane and Elsie.

"Me again" said John to Kayleigh.

"Hi again."

They both felt all eyes on them, Kayleigh turned to speak to Diane so John spoke to Kath and Rachel who was next to Kath.

"You look nice John" said Rachel.

"Thank you...as do you."

Kayleigh was now distracted in her conversation and pretending not to be listening to the John and Rachel conversation.

"Thank you. So glad you came John, you've been working so hard."

"Well it wasn't just me...the whole team pulled together."

"John...you're so modest."

"It's true...wasn't just me."

"Are you doing anything for New Year?"

"Yeah, I'm off to Blackpool actually."

Kayleigh whipped her head round "who are going with?" she asked. John didn't get a chance to answer as Rachel jumped in with another comment.

"I haven't been to Blackpool for years."

"I doubt it's changed much."

"Well let me know if you need some company."

John started coughing as Kayleigh looked incensed.

As food was brought out conversation continued as general chit chat and Kayleigh could hardly look in John's direction.

As the evening reception drew closer John was debating whether he should leave, it was one thing seeing Kayleigh and Darren in the street but to see them dancing and kissing is going to be too much.

"I think I'm gonna make a move Kath."

"You can't go yet John."

"I'm just not in the party mood."

"Eh Rachel...John's thinking of going..."

"Oh don't go yet John...I'm hoping we can have a dance?"

"Yeah John, if I remember from previous parties you love a good dance" added Kath.

"Fine! I'll stay."

Darren turned up later than he had told Kayleigh, it was 9.30pm before he arrived, he had said he'd be there for 8pm.

"Where've you been?"

"Just been out with a few of me mates."

"Are you drunk?"

"No babe...I've only had a couple."

"Well you've made me look like a right idiot! Told everyone you were coming for the reception and all I've been asked is 'when's he coming then?'

"I'm sorry babe...come here..." he went into kiss her.

"You stink of booze?"

"Well you've been drinking all day...it's a wedding. So what if I've had a few...come on I'm here now...don't start."

"Trouble in paradise" Elsie uttered to John as he looked on at the discussion.

"Eh Mr Redmond...do you think he's right for her? I had money on it being yous two you know?"

"I don't know Elsie...as long as she's happy."

"Well, she don't look too happy at the moment..." Elsie walked off.

As the next hours went on, relations improved between Darren and Kayleigh and they had been dancing.

John suffered dancing with Rachel but made his excuses at the slow dances.

As he went to make a move and say goodbye to Donna and Rick he noticed Kayleigh trying to hold Darren up in the foyer. He rushed over.

"Is everything alright?"

"I'm trying to put him somewhere so I can call a taxi back to his."

"Ere let me help ya."

John helped Kayleigh get Darren onto a chair.

"I can give you both a lift? Save you messing on with a taxi."

"I can't ask you to do that John. It's fine."

"Kayleigh...let me help you...a taxi driver won't help ya with him."

"He is in a bit of a state."

"Can't hold his drink huh? Eh, he better not be sick in me car. I'm gonna ask if they have a bucket."

Kayleigh giggled.

"What?" asked John.

"Nothing...just you."

John smiled "I won't be a minute...wait there."

John managed to find a bucket and brought his car round to front. He helped Kayleigh get Darren into the back seat. Darren was stirring.

"Who are you? Kayleigh who is this?"

"Its John, you met him a few weeks ago...he's giving us a lift."

"Thanks John" Darren said as he passed out again.

"Not a bother...here's ya bucket...nah he's gone again!"

John and Kayleigh got in the front of the car.

"Right...where am I taking ya?"

"It's down near where Elsie lives."

"Right...ok...least I haven't got to give her a lift tonight" John started to drive.

"Thanks again John. Feel awful you having to do this."

"Honestly its no bother...I wasn't gonna leave ya was I?"

There was an awkward silence...apart from the Radio.

I've Got My Mind Set On You by George Harrison came on.

"Love this song!" said Kayleigh.

"Yeah...so do I" he looked and smiled at her.

"So..."

"So..."

"Who you going to Blackpool with?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just interested that's all."

"Ah...sorry none of your business" he smiled as Kayleigh shook her head "what? That's what you told me?"

"Fine, don't tell me then!"

Silence descended.

"So are you seeing someone?"

"You're still a right nosey bitch aren't ya?"

They laughed.

"Would it matter if I was seeing someone?" John asked hopefully.

"No! Why would it...as long as it's not that slapper Rachel."

"There's nowt going on with Rachel."

"Didn't look like it tonight...you were dancing with her."

"Only cos she wouldn't let me sit down...she probably thinks I'm getting that promotion."

"Do you think you are?"

"Well I think its looking that way...I cant say too much like."

"Aw...I hope you do...you deserve it."

"Thanks."

"Anyway...back to my original question... who are you going to Blackpool with?"

John shook his head "If you must know I'm going with me mum, nana, me brother and his family. Its a gift for Mum with it being our first Christmas without Dad, he loved Blackpool."

Kayleigh, despite herself, touched his arm.

"That's so lovely."

"It'll be bloody cold, don't know about lovely...how's he doing back there?"

Kayleigh looked round "still out of it."

"How's your Mandy and Steve?"

"Good ta. Steve still asks about you."

"Does he? Tell him I might have some more tools for him if he wants them."

"I will do."

As they got to Darren's Kayleigh grabbed his keys and opened the door whilst John tried to wake Darren up. Darren managed to stumble out of the car whilst John held him up and walked him to the door. Kayleigh ran to help him and they got him in and to the bedroom and laid him on to the bed and left him there as he slept.

John and Kayleigh walked to the kitchen.

"Do you want a drink?"

"Aye I'll have a cuppa?"

Kayleigh boiled the kettle and got the cups ready.

"It was a nice wedding" said John.

"Yeah...I thought it was going to be tacky looking at the invite. The decorations just came off...Poor misty nearly choked on one of the feathers!"

John laughed "Aye it clogged up me dyson."

"And that poem..." added Kayleigh.

"I know, bloody Wrecking Ball."

"Welcome to our love" laughed Kayleigh.

They both laughed.

"I miss this" said John turning serious.

Kayleigh ignored it and poured water in cups, as she turned to put the milk back in the fridge John was stood right in her way.

"I miss this" he repeated.

"John..."

Their faces moved as if to kiss when they suddenly heard Darren being sick.

"I better go and check he's ok" she put the milk away and ran into the bedroom.

John sighed as she left him, he stirred the tea and had a few sips.

"He's ok...just gonna get him some water."

"I better head off anyway and leave you to it."

"But you've not finished your tea."

"I had a few sips...thanks anyway."

"Ok well have a nice time in Blackpool...and a happy new year."

"Oh aye yeah...you too" John smiled and went to the door "see ya...hope he feels better soon."

"Thanks...thanks for the lift."

John left and sighed heavily as did Kayleigh on the other side of the door.

"Kayleigh!" called Darren "I need some water."

"On its way."


	3. Chapter 3

Darren awoke with a hangover.

"Oh you're still alive then?" asked Kayleigh.

"Shh...my head is banging."

"Not surprised with the amount you put away...god knows how much you drank before you arrived..."

"Kayleigh give it a rest. It was a wedding. I only had a few drinks for Dutch courage."

"Eh?"

"For meeting ya work pals...I was nervous."

"You nervous?"

"Yeah."

"Well you looked a right state. Poor John had to help me get you back here."

"Good old John eh?"

"And what's that meant to mean."

"Just exactly what I said...it was good of him...does he not drink?"

"No he doesn't, thankfully for us."

"Boring bastard eh?" Darren laughed.

"John is not boring Darren!"

"I'm just joking, you'll have to thank him for me."

"Yeah I'll have too."

"Anyway I better get back to our Mandy's."

"How you getting back?"

"Mandy has offered to pick me up."

"Not John then?"

"Do you have a problem with John?"

"No I have no problem with him...But is there history there?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Its just a feeling I get when I've met him with you and how you talk about him."

"Oh."

"Look Kayleigh, you can tell me, we all have pasts..."

"Nothing happened with us...I though there was something there when we were car sharing but he made it clear there wasn't."

"What! He turned you down? Is he mad?" he smiled.

"No it wasn't like that...anyway its in the past now...I have you!"

"As long as it is in the past Kayleigh...I won't be messed about...I'm really falling for you" he said whilst playing with her hair.

"I'm not messing you about...honest...I really like you too...anyway Mandy will be here soon so I'll go and wait" she pecked him and left the bedroom "hope your hangover clears up."

John felt awful about the previous night. He couldn't believe on one hand how bold he was and how stupid he was not to finish his brew. He didn't know if Kayleigh still felt things for him and should he pursue it?

He decided he would just leave things as they are, he didn't want to be seen as interfering in Kayleigh's life and she seemed happy enough at the reception.

He had a busy day planned, since Kayleigh was not a part of his life he decided he would throw his energy into the band. He was meeting up with Jim for a quick rehearsal as they had gigs booked throughout January and February, just in a few pubs and social clubs but it would keep him busy.

Meanwhile in Mandy's car.

"Blimey Kayleigh...I can see how car sharing can bring people close...I learn more about your life in here than I do anywhere else" Mandy chuckled.

"Well I'm glad my life causes you so much amusement!"

"It's not that...but you've waited ages for a bloke and now you have two."

"I don't have two at all. John was just being nice and poor Darren was just nervous. He really cares about me."

"Mmm sounds like it."

"He does...John's just messing with me head! He made it clear yet he seems to still appear at every opportunity to throw me off course."

"I don't know Kayleigh...I don't think you gave John a chance..."

"Didn't give him a chance? I gave him plenty...even last night after our moment he couldn't wait to get out of the door...that's what John does...runs away."

"Okay Sis, you know him best."

"Next time he offers his help I'm going to tell him to leave me alone...no offers of lifts...no helping me out!"

"Bit harsh."

"How can I make it work with Darren with John there messing about. Darren's already asking questions...its not fair on him."

"It's your life Kayleigh...you do what you have to do."

"I will."

January was a good month for both John and Kayleigh, John had got his promotion and Kayleigh and Darren seemed in a good place. John hadn't seen much of Kayleigh as he was busy at work and in the office a lot of the time. This enabled Kayleigh to move on and throw her heart in Darren's direction.

One evening in the middle of January, Darren was having tea and Mandy's, doing an official meet the family.

"Where's Steve?" asked Kayleigh "he's normally home by now."

"Oh he had to pop to a mates for some bike stuff."

"Boring!" said Kayleigh.

The door opens.

"Ah here he is."

"Hi ya love, sorry I was a bit later than I said...I got lost trying to find John's house."

Mandy told him to shh and looked awkward which was oblivious to Steve.

"Johns...you've been to Johns house?" Kayleigh asked surprised.

"Yeah...I bumped into him a few days ago...he mentioned he had some parts so I said I'd pop over and get them after work."

"Oh I see...you never said you'd seen him."

"Right dinners up!" said Mandy changing the subject quickly "Kids have had theirs Steve so I'll get their baths ready after this."

As they sat down to eat Kayleigh couldn't believe Steve had been to Johns, seen his house, something she never got to do. She was distracted the whole evening until Darren left.

"Thanks for having me over Mandy...it was lovely."

"No problems Darren, nice to meet you properly."

"You too...right Babe...I'll see you tomorrow" he kissed Kayleigh goodbye.

"Can't wait" as she smiled and waved him off at the door.

"I'm going to sort out the kids baths" Mandy said as she went upstairs.

Steve and Kayleigh were left to wash up.

"Seems like a nice fella."

"Yeah, he's great...so where did you bump into John?"

"Just in town one afternoon."

"Oh what was he doing?"

"Shopping."

"Right...where?"

"I dunno, he was just walking down the street when I saw him."

"Mmm" Kayleigh continued drying the plates "What's his house like?"

"Real nice, real tidy too."

"Did he say anything?"

"Well just general chit chat."

"Anything interesting?"

"Kayleigh love are you fishing for anything in particular?"

"No...just haven't spoken to him for a while that's all...just wondering what he's been up to."

"Ah I see...why you bothered? You've got Darren now "

"I'm just asking...god Steve!"

"Look he's just keeping himself busy with work and his band...his house is nice, he's lived there about 6 years he brought it with an ex fiancé. He asked how you were I said you were good and told him Darren was coming tea so couldn't stop long...what did he say to that before you ask...not a lot. Wished us all a good evening. Is that enough information?"

"See wasn't that hard was it?" Kayleigh chucked down her tea towel and left the kitchen.

"Hey, I could still use a hand here..."

He got no reply.

The following day at the end of work John was heading to his car when he heard his name being called by a familiar voice. He turned round to see Kayleigh walking over to him.

"Hi ya you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine thanks."

Silence ensued.

"So...can I help with something?"

"Oh...right...yeah...I just wanted to congratulate you on your promotion. I haven't really seen you to say it."

"Thank you Kayleigh, It means a lot" he turned to unlock his car.

"Steve said he saw you last night."

"Oh aye yeah...just some bike parts I found."

"Yeah he said."

"How was you're dinner? You know...with Darren?"

"Yeah really nice thank you."

"Good...glad things are going well" he went to open the door.

"How was Blackpool?" for some reason Kayleigh had an overwhelming urge to want to keep talking.

"It was wet and miserable but Mum had a good time which was the main thing."

"Aw I'm pleased John. Steve said you're busy with ya band...Comprehensive isn't it?"

"Compendium!" he chuckled "Yeah, got a busy time just some pubs and social clubs."

"That's good" Kayleigh smiled.

"Anyway, I best be off, taking Sophie to Beavers tonight."

"Oh right...that's fine."

John went to get in the car as Kayleigh started to walk away "Did you need a lift?"

Kayleigh's face lit up "are you sure you won't be late for Sophie?"

"It'll be alright."

"That'd be nice...thank you."

Kayleigh went to go to passengers side when a car beeped. She looked over it was Darren.

"Oh...I think Darren's here. He must have got off work earlier."

"Ah not a bother...maybe another time."

"I'd like that."

John smiled and got in the car and drove off as Kayleigh went over to Darren's car.

"Didn't you get my texts? Said I'd be picking you up."

"Sorry" she said as she got in the car "I haven't looked at my phone all afternoon."

"What was all that about?"

"What?"

"You and John?"

"Oh nothing he just offered me a lift."

"Good job I gave a beep then."

"Yeah" Kayleigh said as she looked out her side window.

Kayleigh couldn't believe how easily she was just going to let John give her a lift after all that talk she gave to Mandy before New Year, it just went right out of the window. If only Steve hadn't mentioned John last night she thought, then she wouldn't have felt the urge to speak to him.

Kayleigh seemed a little disheartened that John was quite nonchalant about talking to her after their moment after Donna's wedding, she still couldn't work him out and why he still bothered her.

As John drove home from after dropping Sophie back he wondered if Kayleigh was perhaps trying to get back in his life, but convinced himself Darren beeping was a sign that he should leave well alone, just like the near kiss after the works do when Elsie rang and their moment at Darren's.

It was a Friday night in February and John and Jim were playing a Valentines celebration at a local social club. They had been rehearsing a few extra love songs, but each song made John feel bad as every one he could relate to his feelings toward Kayleigh.

Jim couldn't help but pick up on John's awkward mood in their rehearsal a few hours before the performance.

"John mate, are you actually to perform these songs with a smile on your face at the gig?"

"What you on about?"

"You're singing these songs like you want to murder someone not love them" Jim laughed.

"Am I? Sorry Jim...I'll be alright on the night as they say."

"Is it still that bird that you were driving all over the county?"

"No! She's got a new fella anyway."

"Ah so that's what it is?"

"Nowt to do with that!"

"John, I've known ya too long to know when summat is bothering ya...plus ya Mum told me you've not been yourself."

"Oh did she now...I'll have bloody words ...mouth almighty."

"She's just worried mate, she said that you've closed up again and she cant get you to talk...so she thought I could have a go. She said you're working all the time and not having much of a social life apart from us gigging."

"I took Sophie to beavers!"

"That's hardly socialising is it?"

"I said hello to people, what more d'ya want."

Jim looked at John to tell him to be serious.

"Look Jim, I appreciate your concern but having this chat now isn't gonna help me performance tonight. So lets just rehearse those extra songs and get going."

"Alright mate...1,2,3..."

Kayleigh, Darren, Mandy and Steve were going on a double date to the social club Steve is a member of for a few drinks, a band and a disco.

As they entered and found a table and Darren went to get the drinks, Kayleigh saw John setting up the speakers on the slightly raised stage.

"Mandy, John's over there...what's he doing here?"

"I don't know" Mandy looked over "Looks like he's helping the band set up."

"What's the name of the band we are seeing tonight?"

"I don't know...the poster there says Compendium."

"Compendium, that's Johns band!"

"Steve, did you know it was Johns band playing tonight?" asked Mandy.

"Yeah he told me the other week."

Kayleigh and Mandy just stared in horror.

"What?!" he asked.

"Didn't you think to mention it?" asked Mandy venomously.

"I didn't think it would be that big a deal...thought John and Kayleigh were mates."

"Clueless, absolutely clueless" Mandy said and shook her head.

"I don't know what the problem is."

"Kayleigh, are you alright? Did you want to leave?" asked a concerned Mandy.

"No, its fine...it'll be great to see John play" she was lying that's the last thing she wanted to see.

"Here's the drinks" said Darren as he approached the table "Isn't that your workmate John up there?"

"Yeah, its his band."

"Oh right. You never mentioned."

"She didn't know" chipped in Mandy.

John turned as he set up the mics and that is when he saw her, 'Shit!' he said to himself. He went over to Jim "I don't f-ing believe this."

"Why, what's up?"

"She's here!"

"Whose here?"

"Catch up will ya Jim...Kayleigh! Kayleigh's here!"

"Car share Kayleigh?!"

"The very same."

"Where? Which one is she?"

"Don't make it obvious...she's the redhead on 3rd table back on left."

Jim span round making it obvious.

"I told ya not to make it obvious! Jesus Christ!"

"Oooh very nice...tell me again why you never made a move?"

"Thin ice pal!"

"Alright! Well you gonna say hello or..."

"I'm just gonna do the gig and get out, she's with her new fella."

"Well you better put on a damn good show...none of that killer look" he smiled.

"Lets just get on with it."

As they went through love song after love song John who started off very nervously really started to shine.

Kayleigh tried not to make it obvious that she couldn't take her eyes off him.

Songs like 'Always On My Mind' by Elvis Presley, 'You Got It' by Roy Orbison, 'You're My Best Friend' by Queen were particularly difficult for John but he sung them as if he owned them. He didn't look at Kayleigh once, accept a glance when they performed 'Pretty Woman' by Roy Orbison.

As they came to the final two songs John couldn't help but look in Kayleigh's direction, 'I Think I Love You' by David Cassidy and the final slow one 'A Million Love Songs' by Take That. His eyes pierced Kayleigh, not once did he move his glance.

Mandy picked up on this and kept her eye on Kayleigh. In the end it became too much for Kayleigh.

"I'm sorry I need to get some fresh air."

"You alright Babe?"

"I'll go and check on her" said Mandy as she ran after Kayleigh.

"Women eh?" said Steve.

Darren smiled and sat back and stared at John.

"Kayleigh are you ok? You'll catch ya death out here."

Kayleigh had tears in her eyes "What's he playing at Mandy?"

"I don't know love...but whatever it is its working."

"I just want to move on you know? I told him I loved him and he said nothing! Now I'm getting all this!"

"He obviously regrets what happened."

"But he's had so many chances since."

"Do you want me to have a word with him...tell him how upset this is making ya?"

"No, I don't even know why I'm like this...I've been happy with Darren..."

"But?"

"But I have a connection with John...I just can't shake it."

"What do you want to do?"

"I need to speak to John."

"What about Darren?"

"God, I don't know. I'm meant to be staying at his tonight."

"Just have a few minutes...think...and then come back in ok? Come ere" she gave Kayleigh a hug.

As John and Jim were at the back packing the van Darren approached.

"Alright John? Good set!"

"Oh...cheers Darren."

"Can I have a word John...in private?"

"Sure...Jim can ya give us a few minutes?"

"Yeah, I need to get the wires from inside" he said slightly concerned but left them to it.

"How can I help?" asked John.

Darren walked over to John almost standing on top of him.

"Well you see John...I would really appreciate it if you left Kayleigh alone."

"I've not been near her mate."

"I've seen the way you look at her and how you are with her...you had your chance. So back off!"

"Is this what Kayleigh wants?"

"What Kayleigh wants is someone who can give her what she wants...and I'm that guy. You know what she's like...going on about her clock ticking...she aint got time to waste...especially on a loser like you who doesn't know what he wants."

"And how do you know what I want."

"I know you want Kayleigh...but you're too scared to do anything about it! So your pathetic attempt tonight of doing it via songs was really sad."

"I don't know what you're talking about Darren."

Darren grabbed John by his collar and shoved him against the van.

"Listen...leave my girlfriend alone...you know and I know you aint man enough for her...you get me?"

"Then why do I bother you so much?"

"Because that daft cow is a romantic and you're playing that card...but I will always be one step ahead John...so give up now, or my next chat is with me fists!" he shoved him against the van once more then let go when Jim appeared.

"Everything alright John?"

"Yeah fine Jim."

"See you then John" Darren said as he walked off.

"What was that about?" asked Jim running over to John.

"A warning...to stay away from Kayleigh."

"You ok?"

"I'm fine...he's just a chancer" John replied straightening himself out.

"What about Kayleigh?"

"I don't know. Think I've caused enough upset tonight. Lets just go."

Kayleigh re-entered the club.

"You alright now?" asked Mandy.

"Yeah fine...where's John?"

"Steve...you seen John?" asked Mandy.

Steve turned from his mates "he left about two minutes ago, just saw van drive off."

"See Mandy, he just runs off!"

Mandy gave a sympathetic smile.

"Where's Darren?" asked Kayleigh.

Steve shrugged "toilets I think."

"Come on lets go" added Mandy.

"Right what's next?" asked Darren as he re- Joined them.

"I think I just want to go" said Kayleigh.

"No dancing?" he added.

"No, just feel tired."

"Early night it is" Darren winked.

"Steve! We're going!" said Mandy.

"What, now?"

"Yes now, come on."

"Right...see ya lads" Steve said as he finished his pint.

Mandy dropped Kayleigh and Darren off at his. She was still worried about her sister but felt best not to agitate her further so didn't pursue her coming back to hers.

Darren and Kayleigh was on his sofa.

"You alright Babe?" asked Darren.

"Yeah fine...why?"

"You just seem elsewhere that's all."

"Just been a long day."

"Kayleigh I've been thinking...things have been going really well lately and I just wondered if you fancied moving in here...you're here a lot anyway and it'd help with bills etc."

Kayleigh was shocked at the offer.

"Oh right...do you think its a bit soon?"

"No not at all. You keep saying you've no time to waste and I agree. We can start making what we have official...so everyone knows how committed we are to each other and that no one can break us."

Still shocked at everything that had happened tonight Kayleigh felt herself going with it, however, her first thought was "what will John think?"


	4. Chapter 4

John awoke at 1.21am running over the previous nights events, thinking about what 'an arse' Darren really is.

John didn't know what came over him in those songs, he just needed to somehow let Kayleigh know something. He hoped he hadn't caused Kayleigh too many problems, he had seen her run out.

"What a mess" he said to himself.

Kayleigh was also awake, she had got out of bed and was sitting on Darren's sofa. She had been crying, she didn't know how she had got into such a situation, should she have held out for John? Has she rushed everything with Darren out of fear? Did she want John to be jealous?

She checked her phone, hoping John may have text. Kayleigh decided to text him, she needed to get some things off her chest.

K: Hi John, I cant sleep, I dont know what you were doing last night. But it has messed with my head. What are you trying to do? I am so confused. Help me understand.

John was shocked when is phone beeped and his heart raced faster when he saw it was Kayleigh.

J: Hi, I cant sleep either. I dont know what to say or what came over me. I know your with Darren now and I should respect your choice. I dont want to mess with your head.

It was Kayleigh's hearts turn to race now when she saw a message from John. She was disappointed at his response but not overly surprised.

K: Is that all you have to say?

John was welling up, he knew what he wanted to say but words failed him.

J: Its all I can say.

K: Typical. Goodnight John.

J: Night Kayleigh. I'm sorry. X

'A kiss!' Kayleigh sobbed 'how can he still do this to me?' she thought.

John wiped the tears from his eyes 'Darren was right, I'm not man enough for her' he ran that thought over and over in his broken sleep.

After her messages from John, she felt nothing had changed so grabbed the bull by the horns and moved in with Darren over the weekend. It was bittersweet but she was fed up of being torn so decided to make a commitment to Darren once and for all despite protests from Mandy.

"You're moving in? After all that happened last night."

"John isn't going to change Mandy! He confirmed that in his texts last night! I'm sick of this hold he has on me."

"Kayleigh, you really need to think about this, I think you're making the wrong decision."

"Why? Don't you like Darren? Is that it?"

"No, its not that, its the fact you still love John...and don't you dare try to deny it."

"Well...well...argh! I'm not doing this!" Kayleigh yelled.

"Now you're doing what you say John does...run away."

"I'm not running away...I'm trying to move on but no one wants to let me. I'm the big sister here and I know my own mind."

"Fine Kayleigh, fine...you move in with Darren and you kid yourself that this is what you want. I'll just stand back and watch shall I?"

"Do what you like Mandy, regardless of what I do or don't feel for John, he doesn't feel that way for me."

"I think you're wrong...and I think you know you're wrong too, you're just being stubborn and impatient."

"What because I want someone whose not scared to tell me he loves me and wants a life with me? I'm just following the guy who is given me what I need. Please just pretend to be happy for me? Its difficult enough as it is" she cried.

"Oh Kayleigh" she hugged her "Its your life love...I just want wants best for you. And if you feel this is the best decision right now then I will support you."

"Thank you."

As Monday arrived, Kayleigh was settled as much as she possibly could be at Darren's. She felt it best she explain to John first about her living arrangements before she tells anyone else. Once she got to work she would go to his office.

John had been at work since 7.30am going through paperwork. He had spent all weekend tormenting himself over his behaviour and messing everything up.

He felt work and the band were the only things he had to take his mind of Kayleigh. He saw the irony of work being the place they met and the place she still inhabits and music being a shared love and how every song would somehow remind him of her.

At 9.30 there was a knock on his door.

"Come in" he said. The door opened and he looked up "Kayleigh?" his voice softened as he said her name, he smiled.

"Can I have a quick word?"

"Of course, sit down."

She sat opposite, his face so happy to see her but tortured all at once. 'Be strong Kayleigh, he doesn't love you' she told herself.

"John, I just thought I would tell you before somebody else does...I've moved in with Darren."

John was shocked to the core, he picked up some paperwork and looked down.

"Right...why are you telling me this?"

"I didn't want you hearing it from someone else."

"What would it matter how I heard it? What would change?" John said snappily.

"I thought with everything that has been going on, it was the right thing to tell you myself" Kayleigh replied with her broken voice.

"Right thing for who?" he looked at her.

"I better go" she sat up and made to walk to the door.

John jumped out of his seat and stood in front of the door.

"What did you want me to say Kayleigh? Why come up here and tell me, you could have text me! You could have let me find out from the store gossips! Why come to my office and tell me?"

"I didn't know what I should do for the best."

"What do you want me to say Kayleigh? That I'm happy for you?"

"Well aren't you?"

John welled up "Is that what you want me to say?"

"Say what you feel John, for once, tell me what you really feel!" Kayleigh pleaded with tears in her eyes.

There was a knock at the door and Kath put her head round the door.

"Sorry John, Dave's here and will be on his way up, he'll probably want to see you."

"Thanks Kath."

Kath shut the door.

"I've gotta get sorted for Dave" John went to sit down.

"So that's it...?"

"I can't do this here Kayleigh."

"You can't do this anywhere, your car, at work, at weddings, at social clubs, in texts. You just cant do it can you?"

"Well sounds like you found a man that can!" he was snapping again.

Kayleigh wiped her face "Yeah, looks like I have" she turned and walked out.

John sat down, let out a huge sigh before he flung his papers on the floor in a fit of anger and hit his desk before putting his face in his hands and sobbing.

Kath heard the commotion and ran in.

"John! John, what an earths the matter?"

"Nothing Kath" John sat up and wiped his face "you tell no one about this...you hear me?"

"Of course not John."

"Right help me sort this paperwork out before Dave arrives."

At about 1.30 after Dave had finally left, Kath went to see John in his office.

"John have you got a few minutes?"

"Yeah sure."

"Look, John, this is really awkward for me, but as HR I do have to address what happened earlier, especially as I heard Kayleigh had been upset after your meeting this morning."

"Yeah, I understand."

"John, are you able to manage Kayleigh? If not, I can look at her answering to someone else if professional boundaries have been crossed?"

John had to think long and hard about his response.

"No professional boundaries have been crossed Kath. But because of the situation, I do think it's best I do not manage Kayleigh directly anymore."

"Thank you for your honesty John, I will get on it now and speak to Kayleigh. She will probably answer to myself and the assistant Managers as well as Dave when he is here and not doing his area manager bits."

"Thanks Kath."

"John, is there anything I can do to help? This morning was so unlike you...I'm worried."

"Just a one off outburst Kath...honest."

Later that afternoon Kath called Kayleigh in.

"I'm not in trouble am I? I know I was upset and away from my stand for a while but..."

"You're not in trouble Kayleigh" reassured Kath.

"Thank god for that!"

"However, due to circumstances between you and John, it has been decided, and John agrees, that he no longer manages you."

"What? I don't understand. What circumstances?"

"This mornings meeting between the two of you was not professional and it is obviously causing you both a lot of pain, whatever this situation is between you. From my point of view boundaries have been crossed."

"But nothings happened between us!"

"Something is going on and I don't want John or you to be put at risk with your jobs if the pair of you have more than a professional relationship."

"But nothing is going on Kath."

"Something is and John would be in a lot of trouble if you run out of his office crying again. I've had other staff commenting on it today and there was already gossip when the two of you were car sharing."

"So, I can't have anything to do with him at work?"

"You can, he is still management, but you do not answer to him, he will not do your appraisal, return to work forms, things like that."

"Ok" Kayleigh looked sad at this "Can I go now?"

"Of course...if you have any questions just come and see me."

"Thanks Kath" Kayleigh went to leave.

"Kayleigh, I really hope whatever is going on gets sorted for you both" Kath smiled and Kayleigh returned it holding back tears.

John left work feeling rather bruised about the whole day. He wanted to message Kayleigh to see if she was alright but was starting to worry if he causes anymore upset he may find himself out of a job.

Kayleigh sat on the bus thinking what a mess everything had become. After seeing John's face when she told him about her moving in with Darren, she knew that she still loved him. She wondered if Darren had been her way at getting back at John for not responding to her declaration. Kayleigh realised she wasn't being fair to either of the men in her life and made a decision she wasn't looking forward to making.

As she arrived at Darren's house, her new home, she sat and waited for him to return.

"Alright Babe" Darren said as he walked in "how was work?"

"Fine" Kayleigh said not moving but visibly upset.

"Eh what's up?" Darren asked and sat beside her.

"Darren, this really isn't easy for me to say...but I don't think this is going to work out."

"What isn't? Babe you're freaking me out."

"This, us..."

"What's changed? You only moved in the other day."

"Nothings changed...that's the problem."

"Eh? I don't get what ya mean."

"I spoke to John today and..."

"I knew he would come running straight to you. Look Kayleigh, whatever he said its not true...I hardly touched him."

"What?! What do you mean?"

Darren realised he put his foot in it.

"Er...nothing, honest...sorry...you were saying."

Kayleigh stood up "No, you were saying something, what happened with John."

"I just...I just... roughed him up a bit...you know just grabbed his collar...told him to stay away from you" he said hanging his head.

"You roughed him up? When was this?"

"Friday...I saw the effect he was having you...making you feel uncomfortable and trying to win you over with those songs...right in front of me...I mean the guy has no shame" he laughed awkwardly.

"So you threatened him?"

Darren walked over to Kayleigh "I only did it because I love you and I didn't want him getting in the way."

"Hang on!" she moved away "Is that why you asked me to move in that night so John knew where he stood?"

"No! NO! Not at all...I just wanted it to be us...a future..."

"I don't believe you and I cant believe you did that to John."

"I didn't do anything to him...just a few words that's all...I should have left him alone and accepted you were not interested but...he just seemed to be there all the friggin time."

"Stop Darren...I think I need to finish what I was saying...as you explaining yourself isn't going to make a difference...as you're right."

"About what exactly?"

"Before when I said nothings changed...I meant nothings changed in how I feel about John..."

"And what do you feel?"

"I love him."

"You love him?"

Kayleigh nodded still upset.

"When did you realise this...on Friday? When he was singing his soppy songs?"

"No...I've loved him since June last year...I never stopped...I'm so sorry Darren."

"So you've just been messing me about all this time?" Darren asked angrily.

"No no...I was trying to move on and I really thought I was...but every time I saw him, heard his voice, heard his name even...All those feelings would come back."

"But he knocked you back.. You told me that he wasn't interested..."

"That was true...but I never gave him a chance to talk things through..."

"What and now he has...that fucking bastard...going behind my back and telling you what you want to hear to get you away from me..." Darren was shouting.

"He's not said anything..."

"What...so you're finishing with me on the chance he may feel the same as you?"

"No, I'm finishing this because I will never feel the way I feel about him with you...I'm so sorry" Kayleigh was still emotional.

"You bitch!" Darren grabbed his coat and got up into Kayleigh's face "I'm going to the pub I'll be back at 9...you and you're shit better be gone by the time I get back" he slammed the door.

Kayleigh slumped into couch and sobbed, partly because she felt awful about the situation, scared of how angry Darren was and mostly out of relief that she can be honest with herself about John.

Kayleigh looked at the time, it was 18.15. She called Mandy but there was no answer on her mobile or landline. She packed as much as she could, luckily most of everything was still packed and all her furniture was in storage so it was mainly clothes and cosmetics.

She tried Mandy again and again, still no answer "Come on Mandy...where are you?"

It was 19.25, she needed to get going, she dreaded to think what state Darren would be in when he got back. Kayleigh thought of the only option she had left.

John had cooked some tea, not that he fancied eating anything. He was still kicking himself for not just saying how he felt, always running away he thought to himself.

Johns mobile started to ring.

"Whose this?" he uttered to himself.

He saw it was Kayleigh...a sudden panic hit him before he answered.

"Hello..."

There was silence

"Hello...Kayleigh?" John said.

"Yeah its me" Kayleigh spoke through the tears.

"Kayleigh are you ok? What's up?"

"Erm...I need your help."

"Oh aye, with what?"

"I need you to pick me up from Darren's and take me back to our Mandy's, I'm moving out."

"You only just moved in!"

"I know...and I hate to ask and I'll explain more but I need to get out of here...now."

"Has he hurt you? What's happened?"

"No...I just need to leave tonight."

"Where's your Mandy?"

"I don't know I cant get hold of her and I need to be out of here before 9...I wouldn't have asked John but I'm really stuck."

"Ok, ok...Where's Darren?"

"At the pub...he's told me not to be here when he gets back?"

"He's kicking you out?"

"No...I've told him I'm leaving...look John I hate to be pushy but can you help or not as time is against me?"

There was a silence.

"John?"

He sighed "I'm on me way."

Kayleigh's heart skipped a beat 'there it is again' she thought 'my hero' and smiled to herself.

John was very confused about what was happening. He was worried about Kayleigh but wasn't sure why this was happening so soon, he didn't know if it meant what he hoped it meant, but he just had to focus on the job in hand - he started the car and drove.


	5. Chapter 5

As John drove to Darren's to collect Kayleigh his phone went again.

"Hi ya Mum"

"John...where are you? You said you were popping over...it's almost 8pm."

"I know...somethings come up...look I'll explain later."

"How much later? I've got to take ya Nan back."

"I'll call ya when I'm done."

"You could have called before to let me know...you sounded upset when I spoke to you at lunch I've been worried sick!"

"Something came up!"

"You got a date?"

"No, I haven't got a date."

"Pity."

"Look I'll see you later ok?"

"Alright John...I'm just worried about ya love."

"I know Mum, I just can't talk at the moment, I will explain everything later."

"Ok John...not too late though, I've got blood test in morning."

"I'll call ya!" John ended the call and rolled his eyes.

He had called his Mum after his chat with Kath earlier. He hadn't been keeping his mum up to date since he poured his heart out to her, she tried and kept prying but because John was so snappy she left it.

Jim had told her snippets about the valentines evening but he was John's friend so didn't betray his trust.

Kayleigh sat waiting for John, feeling mixed with joy and sorrow, plus some embarrassment.

She heard a car pull up outside so she went to the door and there was the fiat, she looked upon it with such fondness.

John got out of the car and walked up the small pathway to the door.

"What's going on?" he asked rather sharply.

"I'll explain on the way just help me with my stuff."

Kayleigh ushered John in and he took some bags to the car. As he went back for more, Darren appeared.

"Oh here he is, good ole John!"

Darren wasn't drunk but clearly had had a drink.

"Look pal, I don't know what's going on I'm just here as I was called to give her a lift."

Darren pushed passed him and into the house.

"Darren?" said Kayleigh shocked "You're back early?"

"Well I thought we could talk...try and make it right?"

"Should I go and leave you two to it?" John asked.

"No" said Kayleigh "there's nothing to make right."

"I didn't mean it when I said get out I was just angry...come on babe, don't chuck what we have away."

"Darren, I told you how I felt...there's nothing more to say."

"I think I should go" added John awkwardly.

"John, don't you dare."

"Well I think you two obviously have unfinished business" said John.

"Yeah mate...on ya way...you've caused enough trouble!" replied Darren.

"Right, I'll get your stuff back from the car" John sighed as he turned round.

"Stay there John and take this..." Kayleigh handed him a suitcase."

"Are you sure Kayleigh?"

"Yes...now take this" she handed him the case and John went to the car.

Darren looked at her "so you call him of all people to come and get ya?"

"I couldn't get hold of Mandy...I had no one else."

"And so that's it?"

"Yeah."

"I thought we had something?"

"I can't do this, I've said how I feel."

John re-entered "Is that everything?"

"And you...I cant believe the audacity of you" Darren said turning to John "coming to my house! Taking my girlfriend! I mean...you didn't want her? So you ruined it for anyone else to be with her! You're a selfish prick."

John hung his head in shame.

"See babe...he isn't even denying it...he doesn't want you..."

Kayleigh just stared at both Darren and John. John panicked at what Kayleigh's next move may be.

"But I want him" she said.

John breathed a sigh of relief and a little bit of shock that she said that.

"You're wasting your time Kayleigh! And you said yourself you haven't got time to waste! Come on..." Darren tried to hug Kayleigh.

"I think Kayleigh's said all she needs to say...are you ready?" said John with a bit of confidence.

"Oh...he speaks now!" Darren approached John "Do you actually feel anything for her? Is this just a big thrill for you?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you..."

Darren grabbed John by his collar "I think you do mate."

"Darren leave him!" Kayleigh shouted.

"I told you if you didn't leave her alone the next chat would be with me fists!"

"Go on then!" replied a pumped up John.

"Darren! No!" Kayleigh shouted again.

Kayleigh ran over to get Darren off John and in the scuffle Darren pushed Kayleigh off him which resulted in her falling back on to the floor. Darren looked round shocked whilst John saw red and shoved Darren with all his strength. This caused Darren to come flying at John with his fist but John had a lucky break and managed to throw a punch before he did. As Darren cradled his nose John helped Kayleigh up.

"Get in the car...come on."

Kayleigh did as she was told.

John looked at Darren "Now you listen to me...you stay away from her ok?"

Darren just turned away as John left and closed the door.

As John got in the car and sat in the drivers seat he exclaimed "Argh me f-ing hand" as he held it.

"Are you hurt John?"

"Yes...are you being funny? Friggin' hell! I've never punched anyone before...Christ that hurt. It took all I had to hold it together in there...ow."

Kayleigh smiled at John through the tears.

"Its not funny...I've just assaulted someone!"

John was not happy at the nights events, but was happy to have Kayleigh back in his car.

"Are you ok to drive?" asked Kayleigh.

"Aye I'll be fine" he started the engine.

Suddenly Kayleigh sobbed.

"Eh? What's up?" John said as he turned off engine.

"Nothing..."

"Doesn't look like nothing...are you sad about Darren?"

"No!"

"Then what?"

Kayleigh still sobbing "Its just such a mess John. Look at my life...it's a mess."

"It's not a mess...don't think like that..."

"How else can I think...I never find a decent bloke...and when I think I do he doesn't want to know...I just feel like running away from it all...do what Kelly did...emigrate to the other end of the world."

That panic settled into John again, the panic of losing her.

"Don't say that...Listen...I..."

Kayleigh's phone rang and she broke the gaze as she got it out of her bag.

"It's our Mandy...Hello."

"Kayleigh, sorry I missed ya calls. We were at a fundraiser at the school and I left my phone at home...is everything ok?"

"Not really...I'll explain when I get to yours...but I need me box room back is that ok?"

"What? What's happened?"

"I'll explain later..."

"Is Darren driving you here? Do you need picking up?"

"No John's here."

"John?!"

"Yeah...I'll see you in a bit ok...cant talk right now."

"Ok, see you in a bit."

Kayleigh hung up.

"Lets just go" Kayleigh said as she dried her eyes.

"Right...okay" he started the engine again and drove off.

As they drove mostly in silence 'Somethings Gotten Hold of My Heart' by Gene Pitney and Marc Almond came on the radio as the drove back to Mandy's.

John looked at Kayleigh and smiled although he could see the tears still streaming down her face. Kayleigh sensed him looking at her but couldn't look at him, she had noted that despite all he had done this evening he hadn't really said anything...though did sense the phone call from Mandy may have stopped something. 'That stupid phone' she thought.

"The rains really started coming down tonight?" John finally spoke.

"Yeah."

"How you feeling?"

"Yeah ok...how's your hand?"

"Sore!" he smiled.

They finally turned the corner into Mandy's road and pulled up outside the house.

"Better get this stuff in quick...you go in and I'll get these in" John said as he got out of the car, Kayleigh followed suit and went to the front door.

Mandy opened the door and pulled a wet Kayleigh in for a hug.

"Come here you" Mandy said as Kayleigh sobbed and moved into the dry.

John came up with some bags.

"Hi ya John."

"Alright Mandy...where should I put these?"

"Just leave them in the hall love... Steve! Come and help John with Kayleigh's stuff will ya?!"

Steve came down the stairs.

"Yeah sure...you alright Kayleigh?"

Kayleigh nodded her head.

"Alright John, I'll give ya hand."

"Cheers Steve."

John and Steve went back out to the car and brought the remainder of Kayleigh's belongings in. It was now 21.30 and John realised he had better get a move on.

"Right I best be off."

"Do ya want a cuppa?" asked Mandy.

"No, best not, thanks though."

Mandy nodded to Steve to follow her into the kitchen and they both left John and Kayleigh alone in the living room.

"Thanks for tonight John...I'm so sorry to have dragged you into all this."

"Don't be daft...its not a bother."

"You always say that."

"What?"

"'No bother, its not a bother' but am I a bother? Do I bother you?"

"Eh? What you on about?"

Kayleigh just stared at him.

John sighed "Nothing for you is a bother...but you do bother me...in more ways than you will ever know...I..." John's phone started to ring "Bugger...its me mum...I said I'd pop round...look I better go...will you be at work tomorrow?"

"I'll see how I feel...you best go."

John turned to leave then stopped. He cancelled the call and turned to Kayleigh.

"No...I don't think its best I go right now."

"What?"

"Hang on right there a minute...I'll be back" he ran outside to his car and returned with a brown package.

"What's that?" Kayleigh asked.

"The day you got out of my car...I was devastated. I went home and wrote this song for you...I wanted to give it you the very next day...but I bottled it. So here...this is for you" he handed her the package.

"You don't have to listen to it now...listen to it when you're ready as its been a rough day. Just let me know..."

"Let you know what?" asked Kayleigh.

"If you get it and know what I was trying to say."

"What were you trying to say."

"Just listen to the song!"

"Why cant you tell me? You always leave it so...up in the air."

"I'm no good at this stuff Kayleigh."

"Trust me John, you are...why do you think I fell for you in the first place and whilst even being with someone else I couldn't shake you off?"

"I don't know...I don't know why you feel that way...I find it all a bit overwhelming" John was getting flustered whilst Kayleigh had tears in her eyes.

"Overwhelming?"

"Yeah...not in a bad way...but these feelings that I have...they have taken me aback...after Charlotte and the hurt I know I can cause..."

"So you're still holding back."

"Please just listen to my song."

Johns phone went again.

"Look I better go..." said John.

"You cant keep doing this...every time we have a moment you run away!"

"I'm not running...honest...you've had a rough day and today has been an emotional rollercoaster for me..."

"Right fine, you just go" Kayleigh said irritated.

"Kayleigh, please don't be like that."

"Just go!"

"Will you listen to the song?"

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Fine...I hope you do...but maybe it'll just make things worse anyway!"

"Just go John" Kayleigh said stoically.

John just nodded and left.

John called his mum and explained the days events, as it was pushing 10pm he decided against going round.

"John love, you need to get your act together if you want to keep that girl" Jan said through the Bluetooth.

"I know Mum...I just find it so hard..."

"But not so hard that you've put it in a song?"

"Its different."

"Oh is it now? Look John, Kayleigh seems to have made it very clear how she feels on more than one occasion...time to repay her."

"The song will do that."

"Does it say the words she wants to hear John or are you singing round the issue?"

There was silence.

"John?"

"Shit! What do I do?"

"If you don't know by now John, no good me telling you" she chuckled.

"Alright, alright...look I'll message ya."

"Good luck love."

John hung up pulled over and stared out the window as the rain poured down.

Kayleigh had a shower after catching Mandy up on all the events. She got into her bed in the box room and opened the package - a Walkman with the post-it note John had written at the time.

Kayleigh sighed as she unwound the headphones and put them in her ears. She tentatively hovered over the play button before pressing it.

As she listened to John singing and took in the lyrics her eyes welled up as she got hooked on every word. Half of her annoyed he never gave her the song at the time the other half oozing love for him.

As the song ended she rewound it and listened again 'Why does he always do this to me?' she sighed to herself.


	6. Chapter 6

John sat in the car still not moving, knowing it was now or never. He started the engine and started to drive, the rain still pouring.

At 10.45 he was back at Kayleigh's, the heart lamp still in its place.

"Come on John...you can't go back now" he said to himself.

He got out of car and called Kayleigh's name, there was no response.

"Kayleigh!...Kayleigh!" he started to look for a pebble, he found one and chucked it at Kayleigh's window, still nothing. He found a few more and chucked them, hoping she would hear over the rain.

"Kayleigh!"

Kayleigh stopped her tape and went to the window, she saw the Fiat first and then saw a drenched John, she opened her window.

"John! What you doing here?"

"Finally! Are you deaf?"

"I had my headphones in...listening to your song!"

"You listened to it?"

"Yes!" she smiled.

Mandy and Steve came to their window.

"John, what the hell are you doing? You'll wake up the street!" said Mandy.

"I need to talk to Kayleigh."

"What? Now? You were here an hour ago? Couldn't you have done it then" Mandy replied.

"Mandy shh" said Kayleigh.

"So you listened to the song. Did you listen to the words?" asked John.

"Yeah and I think I know what you were trying to say."

"Yeah...about that...the songs a bit out of date now!"

"What do you mean?"

"It's not right anymore Kayleigh..."

Kayleigh looked disheartened as John continued.

"Yeah its not right...things have changed..."

"What things?"

"You know the part where I sing 'I find it hard to say it, but I'm feeling it inside'?"

"Yeah" said a sombre Kayleigh.

"It's not true."

"John if you have come here just to tell me that you don't have feelings for me...then..."

"It's not true" John said cutting Kayleigh off mid flow, "because I no longer find it hard to say it."

"To say what?" asked Kayleigh.

John stared at her then looked to the ground.

"To say what?" she asked louder and firmer.

John looked up and smiled "That I love you Kayleigh! There I said it, I...Love...You! I have for a long time. It killed me seeing you with Darren, I don't want to lose you again...did you mean what you said... do you really want me? Do you still love me?"

Kayleigh looked at Mandy and Steve and then back down at John.

"Well? Come on, I'm getting soaked out here!" asked John hopefully.

Kayleigh shut her window. John looked at Mandy and Steve who had sympathetic looks on their faces. John just shrugged and turned to leave. But then suddenly the front door opened.

Kayleigh stood there looking downcast before she walked over to him and looked him in the eyes and began smiling.

"Yes! Yes I still love you...I never stopped" she said as she flung her arms round him. John picked her up and kissed her swinging her around as the rain come down.

Mandy and Steve cheered with Mandy shouting "about bloody time!"

As the kiss ended Kayleigh said "Right...we best get you out of these wet clothes" she winked suggestively.

"Eh...?"

"I'm joking...but you do need to get out of those clothes."

"Aye, I'm gonna get hypothermia."

They walked into the house greeted by Mandy and Steve.

Steve sorted John a t-shirt and some jogging bottoms as Mandy put John's work clothes he had been wearing all day in the dryer. Kayleigh also needed to change into fresh PJs.

They all sat in the kitchen having a cup of tea.

"So John...you staying here tonight, its quite late" asked Mandy.

"Aye, I know...I hope I didn't wake the kids up."

"Nah they're sound pal" added Steve.

"So are you staying over?" asked Mandy again.

"I hadn't thought that far...but it is late...I can sleep on couch if you're offering"

"Of course, whatever's best."

"Thought you'd be up with our Kayleigh?" asked Steve.

"What? In my single bed?"

"Its a bit cosy Steve" added Mandy.

"Yeah anyway...you two can go up now, I'll sort John out down here" added Kayleigh trying to get them out of the way.

"I bet you will" joked Steve.

"I meant with a duvet and a pillow...filth!" snapped Kayleigh.

"Yes, come on Steve...up we go" Mandy said getting the hint and shoving him out the kitchen "night night you two."

"Night" said both Kayleigh and John.

Finally they were left alone in the kitchen.

"So..." said Kayleigh.

"So..." replied John.

"Shall we sit in the living room...I'll get you a cover and a pillow."

John grabbed Kayleigh's arm as she went to leave the kitchen and gave her a lingering kiss.

"John!" Kayleigh squealed.

"Sorry" said John "I don't think I'll ever get used to being able to do that."

"Well get used to it."

"I'm so sorry Kayleigh...I let you down so badly."

"I can't believe you never gave me that song...all that time wasted."

"Don't...please don't remind me."

"I meant what I said John...I never stopped loving you" she said as she caressed his face.

John welled up.

"John, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, I just love you so much and the thought of never being with you...well it just doesn't bear thinking about."

Kayleigh smiled.

"How's your hand?"

"Better...thank you."

Kayleigh grabbed his other hand.

"Come on...I don't want to leave you down here" as she led him to the bottom of the stairs.

"Won't it be a tight squeeze?"

"Yeah...but I wont rest knowing you're down here. And I don't want the kids to get a fright in the morning" Kayleigh laughed as she walked upstairs.

"Cheeky bitch" John said as he followed.

As they squeezed into the single bed cuddling, John suddenly felt at ease as they continued their conversation quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me what Darren said to you at the Valentines night?" Kayleigh whispered.

"I was going to...but then you told me you were living with him...I thought you may think I was lying to be spiteful or summat."

"I'd never have thought that John. I was praying ever since I left your car for you to say something. Then I believed you never would."

John gave her a tight squeeze.

"I was such an idiot."

"Yeah you were" Kayleigh nudged him playfully.

"Eh you!" he kissed her forehead "least me mum will be pleased."

"What? You've told her about me?"

"Oh aye, course I have."

"What have you said?" Kayleigh asked excitedly.

"Oh wish I hadn't said owt now..."

"Spoilsport...come on tell me."

"It's embarrassing..."

"John?!" Kayleigh pleaded.

"When I found out you were seeing Darren, I left work early..."

"I remember one day you left early back then, I thought you were ill and you're never off ill."

"I just couldn't focus ya know...so I went to me mums and...Christ this is embarrassing."

"And...?"

"And I broke down...told her I had lost the person I loved."

"Oh John" Kayleigh started to well up now.

"Just told her everything, the day we started car sharing to my radio dedication as you left my car."

"Radio dedication?"

"God me and my big mouth...basically, when I was texting in the car that day, I was texting Forever FM...'no one puts baby in the corner' remember from dirty dancing?"

"He was telling her he loves her."

"Yeah, just as you walked out they played it and the song by Marillion."

Kayleigh started to cry.

"Oh, don't cry Kayleigh."

"I just hate the past couple of months. Bet your mum hates me."

"No she doesn't."

Kayleigh looked disbelievingly.

"She doesn't honest, it was her that got my arse into gear tonight."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I hate the thought of you being so sad John."

"It were me own fault."

"So many missed opportunities, if I hadn't got out of your car, if you'd given me your song, if we had kissed the night of Donna's wedding..."

"I regretted not staying to finish me brew that night you know? But we're here now. Like I always said 'if it's meant to be, it'll be' and it is."

Kayleigh gave him a kiss, which turned into a passionate embrace.

"I'm so glad your mum got you into gear."

"Mmmm, so am I."

Kayleigh looked at the time.

"John! It's half one in the morning! I'll never get up for work!"

"It's alright, I'll call Kath in the morning...explain we won't be in."

"You're not skipping work as well are you Jonathan?"

"No, I will explain we will be late...I need to get a fresh uniform from mine anyway."

"Oh" Kayleigh fake sulked at having to still go to work "will she be ok? Already had a chat with her this morning, or yesterday morning rather."

"She'll be fine, leave it to beaver" he smiled.

Kayleigh laughed.

"And if I couldn't manage you before, I definitely can't now...professional boundaries have definitely been crossed" he kissed her.

"Well not quite" Kayleigh winked again.

"Save it for another time lady!"

"I'm joking."

"Yeah sure you are...anyway you've just come out of a relationship..."

"And?"

"Well you will need an adjustment period."

"I won't John...you've been all I've ever wanted. Everything else is already a distant memory."

"I'll take you out properly, I want to do this right."

"He says, laying in my bed."

"You know what I mean!"

"I know! But at this rate, I'll have moved in by our second date."

"Eh?"

"I'm joking!"

"Your full of jokes aren't ya? Anyway night night" he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Night night."

They cuddled as they closed their eyes.

"John?"

"Yes Kayleigh?"

"Do you think we have a future, like a proper future together?"

"Well, I know what my life is like without you, so there's only one option really."

"Is that your way of saying yes?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I do."

"Kayleigh?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and go to sleep!" he smiled.

Kayleigh laughed and kissed him again.

"Night night, I love you John."

"I love you too. Night."

As they drifted off to sleep, the future certainly felt bright.


End file.
